27 weeks today!

Monkey In-Waiting

   So today is Friday and I am 27 weeks pregnant with Monkey In-waiting. This is the last week of second trimester and I am getting a little nervous. Don't get me wrong, I have been through labor and delivery three times now and that's not very scary anymore, but I am dreading how little time I have to accomplish all the things I need to before this little boy arrives.

No question about gender anymore!

   I think that I would have been further along with my list of to do's if not for the shock of having a boy that took few weeks to get over. With the last three Monkeys I was very confident of what gender they were, so when we found out that we were pregnant again I searched deep inside my motherly intuition and produced my answer, this little baby is going to be a girl.
Since I have been right 3 out of 3 times now I think I was a little overconfident in my abilities to predict the gender of my babies. When I was pregnant with Funky Monkey we were not allowed to find out gender before he was born, but even then that did not shake my confidence in him being a boy. With Girly Monkey and Little Monkey my gender predictions were confirmed after 20 week ultrasounds. I even predicted some of my friends babies' gender while they were still in utero. So when we arrived at our ultrasound at 20 weeks I was very assured that this was going to be a little girl. After all, four kids is all we want to have, and we already have 2 boys, and Girly Monkey could use a little sister in her life, so it was only right that we would have a little girl this time around. BOY, was I wrong (no pun intended)! During the first part of the ultrasound, when only mom-to-be is allowed to be in the room I got some clues from the technician, although she did not reveal the gender to me alone. At first she referred to the baby as "baby", but later she would let slip once in a while the word "he." I was in a bit of denial. I refused to accept that this was indicative of the gender of our baby. When Daddy Monkey was allowed to come in with our Monkeys I had to tell them about how uncooperative that baby has been for the technician. So Daddy remarked that "she" has been stubborn (he was also convinced that this was a little girl), to which I remarked that I thought that she meant the baby and not me. This was our next clue; the technician snickered at the remark and at my husband. But it did not sound like she was smirking at me being difficult but at the fact that Daddy thought that it was girl! My heart started to beat very fast. Few seconds later the technician revealed that this baby was indeed a BOY! I really think that at that moment both mine and Daddy's jaw dropped. That couldn't be a boy in there since my motherly intuition was telling me something different. But I guess even intuition in not 100 percent correct all the time.

Cute little face!

   The trouble was that we had a lovely name all picked out for a girl (it was going to be Nela), I was in the process of sorting girl clothes form boy clothes (we reuse all the clothes we can so we can save some money), and I was even planning what our next house would look like based on the fact that our 2 boys would have to share a room and our 2 girls would share a room. And then we find out that we're having a boy! I didn't even have a name picked out for a boy. I didn't care for any boy's names since I was sure this was going to be a girl. It took me few days just to get over the shock. At first I was a little upset, and then I thought that the technician got it wrong. But finally, after about 5 days, I came to accept that my final child is going to be a son and not a daughter. Then it took me few more days to go through all the acceptable names and pick one. I really didn't care for any of them, and I was even contemplating picking one from a hat. For some reason I had lost all the connection to this child. I had to go through a grieving process. What gave me acceptance and thankfulness for actually having a healthy child, no matter what gender, was a note a friend of mine posted on her Facebook. This is what it said:

And then I realized that I was being silly. I have friends who lost their babies before they were even born and they would have given everything to take their babies home. And here I was being upset over gender of my baby. I also remembered how it was to be pregnant and not have a child to take home. After Funky Monkey we got pregnant only to discover at 18 weeks that it was a Molar Pregnancy and that the baby wasn't alive. So I was just being silly. So then I started connecting with the baby and even picked a perfect name for him. My disappointment turned to excitement over having another boy. I really do love my kids, boy or girl, and I am happy to have another one. So now I am patiently waiting for the time when I will get to hold our precious little boy in my arms. Only 13 weeks left!