Flashback Fridays!

Since we are on the topic of God and religion, here is my post from August 2008:



I was not expecting this right now. Not yet. I have read all the books on child development, and even took a course in university on child psychology, so I knew that this subject was going to come us sooner or later, but I was just not prepared for it. I had to explain death to my son! I can deal with sex, guns, gay people, and all the awkward other subjects that kids tend to bring up, but death and God make me uneasy. Maybe because I am not quite understanding them myself. But that's the beauty of children; they will make you face your uncertainties so you can find an answer to their questions. The problem with the subject of death is that I know that death makes people sad, and I don't like to think that something would make my child sad. Not the kind of sad that they feel when they don't get a toy they wanted, but that deep sadness that comes from loosing someone close. The kind of sadness that never really goes away, just lessens with time.

   And God? Well, I believe, that's for sure. I was born into a Roman Catholic family. My whole family was very religious. I was baptized and received first communion, but due to us immigrating I never went through confirmation. Daddy and I were married in my church and Funky Monkey was baptized there. But once Funky Monkey came everything changed. At first he was too little to grasp the concept of God, and he developed a fear of church. I think it had to do with a gloomy atmosphere during the service. When he hit 18 months he would start screaming and throwing himself on the floor if we ever came near a church. So we stopped going. We started introducing Jesus and concept of God at home, and we even got him a kid's bible. And then Girly Monkey came. And we wanted to baptize her, but they would not do it at my church if we didn't have Catholic godparents. So it made me start to think. I know what I believe, and I am very secure in my beliefs, but I wasn't sure that I believed in the church institution, at least not the one that I have been attending for 29 years!

   I believe in God, but I believe that he is in everything and everywhere. When you look at the face of a child, that's God! When you witness a beautiful sunset, that's God. When you get that loving feeling while spending time with your family, that's God. When you eat your meal, that's God. When you receive an act of kindness from a complete stranger, that's God. When you look at a beautiful painting, that's God. When you read a poem that moves you, that's God. God is in every being, every gesture, every object, every act. And many church institutions miss that fact. Yes, the Bible is the word of God, but so is a kiss from your husband, a sweat on a brow of a firefighter, or a laughter of a child. I also believe that Jesus was a real person. He loved like us, ate like us, and performed all the humanly functions just like us. Would I thought of him any less if he had a family, NO! Yet many church officials are ready to do anything to keep him as far away from being human as they can. And yes, i did watch DaVinci Code, and thought it a nice novel, but there is one line in it that I really liked; "why does it have to be human or Divine, why can't human be Divine?" So needless to say that subject does not come easy to me neither, since so many things that I believe have been taught to me as being wrong.


   But getting back to my story, I had to tackle one of these subjects this week. Couple of weeks ago Daddy made a bug screen for Noah's window, but miscalculated the height of it and the window screen is about 2 inches too short. We left it on for now since it got much colder here now, and that window doesn't get opened much. Well a couple days ago a little bug flew in and got caught between the screen and the window. Funky Monkey noticed it and freaked out. Everyone should know by now how petrified he is of bugs. He won't eat his breakfast if there is a fruit fly on a fruit basket on the table. A FRUIT FLY!!! But I assured him that since the window was closed the bug would not fly in, and that eventually he would find his way out and fly away. But he didn't! Instead he stayed there, trapped between the screen and the window and eventually died. Funky Monkey found him couple days later, and started crying. He asked what happened to the bug, and I replied that he died. With tears in his eyes Funky Monkey asked if the bug would ever get up and leave. I read somewhere that honesty is the only true way to explain death to the kids. I wanted to avoid the sadness by telling him that the bug was just sleeping, but that wouldn't be fair! So despite me not feeling so great since he was obviously very upset by this, I told him the truth. I said that the bug died and that he will never get up again. I said that it was just part of life and that everyone dies sometimes, and that it's OK to feel sad when they do. I also told him that the bug fulfilled his purpose here, and that I bet that he had some babies that would grow up to be bugs someday. Funky Monkey's curiosity kicked in. He wanted to know if he would die someday, if we would, how about grandparents. Do other bugs die. Do other bugs have babies, etc. He still felt sad, and he even had tears when he told Daddy about the bug, but at least he now knows that death is part of life. It was't easy explaining that, but I am glad that I approached it with honesty.

Tip of the day:
Vinegar - the other cleaning product I use. It kills 98% of germs without the harshness of heavy chemicals. I spray it on the counters before bedtime and let it evaporate over night. it kills germs and the smell dissipates by the morning. Also awesome on floors. I use it on our kitchen floors so they would be crawling-baby clean. Another use is to clean glass with it. Awesome results without all the bad stuff. And I can be sure that if Girly Monkey ever gets into my cleaning supplies she would not get hurt by them.