Pregnancy Q&A - part 2

Yesterday, I have talked about some basic questions that newly pregnant women might have. Let's continue this with more questions and answers that may be helpful.

Q - I have read that now that I am pregnant things like coffee, sushi, soft cheeses and deli meats are off limits for me. Is that true?
A - All moms want the best for their unborn child. This is why it's so easy to go overboard and worry yourself to death over things that are very unlikely to happen. There are numerous medical professionals and websites that provide a list of "do not eat while pregnant" items. With Funky Monkey I followed the list with diligence that can only be assigned to a first time mom. No soft cheeses, no deli meats, forget even a sniff of coffee, and no matter how big my headache was I refused to take a Tylenol. I was not the only "better safe than sorry" mom. As a matter of fact you are very unlikely to see first time moms in the line-up at Starbucks, or your deli counter. The issue is that there is really very small risk in having any of these things. Coffee is fine in moderation!  Women in Japan eat raw fish even during pregnancy, and I highly doubt that French moms-to-be avoid cheeses like Brie during pregnancy. I would be more concerned with pesticide residuals on my conventional veggies than small risk of being sick from deli meats ( then again, why would you want to eat most deli meats? Most of them taste horrible and are cooked in plastic bags). So in my other pregnancies I relaxed a bit and enjoyed the occasional cup of coffee, or a slice of Camembert cheese without feeling guilty. There are risks in everything we do, so just be aware that eating salad can make you sick too.


Q - I have been eating healthy and being active but I am still gaining tons of weight. Is that normal?

A - Some practitioners are very focused on weight gain, whereas some put less emphasis on how much you are gaining. Are you being honest with yourself and really eating healthy and keeping active? And if you are still gaining lots of weight then it must be what your body needs it to support you and your growing baby. As you recall, my first doctor was focused on my weight to the pint that she made me uncomfortable. I didn't change my eating habits from before (I already ate healthy) I was pregnant and I was active (I did prenatal exercises, walked a dog, went on hikes). I started at 166 lbs and went up to 220 at the time of delivery. You do the math. With my other 2 pregnancies I always gained lots and always seem to end up on the same number by the end. I also grow decent size babies (8 1/2 lbs) so I never really worry about the weight. There are many women that gain lots in pregnancy. Some will shed the pounds as soon as they deliver, and some will not be able to loose all of it until they stop breastfeeding. There was only once in the last 10 years that I started loosing all of the weight and that was the only 2 months that I wasn't pregnant or breastfeeding. Just so you don't think you're a "freak of nature" for not fitting into your favorite jeans a week after delivering your 9 pound baby, here are some real women answering the question of how much did you gain in your pregnancy. PLEASE look at them and not the "celebrities" that supposedly gain nothing in pregnancy.

Q - Now that people know I am pregnant, everyone wants to touch my belly. What can I do about it? 
A - Haha ... that's one thing you will never see in the movies. Unfortunately, it's one of these problems that all pregnant women face. I was shocked when I was only about 10 weeks pregnant (read "baby was still small enough to hide behind my pubic bone") and an acquaintance grabbed my stomach. I was young then and a bit in shock so I didn't know to respond to that. For some reason when you are pregnant people assume that personal space is non existent. It gets worse the more you are showing. I got better about "letting" people know that this was not OK, and that it was invasion of my space. In the early weeks I would simply retort that "actually, the baby is small enough still that if you want to touch where it sits you would have to be touching me just above my crotch and I am pretty sure that neither one of us is comfortable with that." Later on, when I was showing more, and I had someone reach out and grab my belly and ask how I was feeling I would reach out and touch theirs and ask how they were doing. If they were shocked by my actions I would say, "I am sorry but I thought that this was a new form of greeting each other". The truth is that some people are not very tactful around pregnant women so it's about time to let them know that even when you are pregnant you deserve personal space. (See below)

Q - Now that I am pregnant, everyone wants to know very personal questions, like whether it was a planned pregnancy, how we got pregnant so quick, whether we will be having more, is my husband getting "fixed", etc. How to deal with that?
A - Another thing you will never see in the movies! And it happens in real life all the time. I have been asked by complete strangers in a grocery store whether this pregnancy was "planned (read "oops"), or if we could afford financially this many kids. All manners go out the window with some people once they know you are pregnant. No, I am not comfortable telling you how we conceived  a girl (you want sex tips go read Kamasutra), I will not let you know if we planned our kids, I will not let you know whether my boobs started leaking milk already, or if we still "do it" while I am pregnant. I am more than willing to share some of this information with close friends that might need advice or opinions, or with my pregnancy buddy group gals (since we are all sharing some personal info already), but don't ask me that when we are in frozen food section!

Q - Help, everyone is telling me horror stories about child birth and now I am terrified of it. How can I not listen to them.
A - Having been through child birth 3 times now I can safely say that it's not as scary as everyone makes it out to be. But people will always come out of nowhere and tell you about their "neighbor's daughter's friend's sister" who delivered a 10 pound baby and it almost killed her. I have come to a conclusion that many people feel the need to scare you as a form of punishing you for being pregnant. Yup, they are saying "you are silly enough to be with a child so now suffer the agony of waiting for childbirth." The worst thing is that it always comes from other women. As a women, it saddens me that so many of us are not more supportive and encouraging to our fellow moms. Childbirth is really not that scary. The movies make it out to be so, with all the screaming, and yelling, and swearing, but it really is not. So, please, stop listening to all "scary stories" and watching all those "baby stories" and know that your body is designed to do it. Your mother did it, her mother, and her mother before that. A good show to watch that shows childbirth in positive way is "Birth Stories" if you can get your hand on the episodes. It's very empowering and shows that  yes, you can do it! Here is a little video to show you that birth is a natural process and you can do it.

Enjoy!

Come back tomorrow for another part of Pregnancy Q&A!