Is screen time ruining our kids?

   It's difficult to go on the internet, or open parenting magazine, or talk to parents at the playground and not hear about how screen time is ruining our kids. There are numerous families that avoid having television sets in their households for the fear of having their lovely children turned into media zombies that can't think for themselves. On the other side of this coin are parents who allow their children to mindlessly watch hours of television, often at the same time as they're surfing the net and playing on their hand held electronics. These parents see no evil in media and are often heard saying that their kids have to learn to live with technology because that's the world we live in. So what is the deal with screen time?

   First of all it really helps to understand how children's brains work. Kids don't live in the same world as we do (physically they do but not mentally.) Children of younger age have troubles separating real life from make-believe one. They are also very likely to take things in their literal meaning. Children and young adults are also very impressionable and tend to follow what they have learned from others easier since they lack the experience that adults posses to make up their mind. You understand that in great detail when you see a 5-year old looking for a frog in their throat after someone commented that their sickly voice sounds like they have a frog in their throat. Another example is when a 4-year old inserts make-believe characters into their story about first day in preschool. Or you can also see it when talking to a teenager who got caught doing something and his only explanation was that everyone in his group was doing it. So how does that translate into the effect of screen time on kids and teenagers?
   Since children learn from everything they see, to a child TV or game is not mere "entertainment". We, as adults, tend to take that for granted because many of us find watching some TV or playing a game or surfing on the internet as ways to relax. Well, if you have ever been around young kids you would discover that their brains are so busy growing that they have no time to relax. The only time kids relax is when they sleep. This brings to mind many of our outings that ended with us adults exhausted on the way home while the kids couldn't stop talking. We were out of energy, they were not! This never ending pool of physical energy translates to never-ending mental energy. So when an adult has a TV in the background as form of relaxation, the child is very actively listening and watching the information presented in it.
   There is also the problem of children sitting in front of screens and not doing what kids are supposed to do, move around. There are many organizations ready to point fingers at screen time as the main source of kids getting overweight and unhealthy. With most kids in USA spending 3 hours on TV alone there is some reason to be concerned. Especially since most kids spend their mornings at school sitting in desks. This translated to a lot of hours just sitting. And yes, the kids do move a little in traditional schools, but most of it is spent in their desks. Since the kids spend so much time just being sedentary while learning, it would make sense that they should be encouraged to be active after school. Well, that doesn't seem to be the case for many kids. And this is where the problem is. So do I think screen time is evil and should be banned from every home that has a child?
   It might surprise many of you but I do not think that screen time is the root of all evil. What I really think the problem stems from is the lack of parental guidance in screen time. We use a lot of screen for our schooling purposes. I really like supplementing book information with well made documentaries or TV specials. Kids are visual creatures, and you can really reinforce learning about ancient Egypt with showing a Discovery special on pyramids, or mummies, or temples. The trick to responsible screen time is how it's used. To illustrate that point I will break down screen time to the four main components that are used by many kids: TV, internet, gaming systems, hand-held devices (like iphones and ipads).

    Let's start with TV. TV in our house is highly monitored. We have parental lock on the satellite that won't play anything rated over "8+". It's not perfect so I don't always relay on the rating only. For instance while flipping channels recently I have noticed that "River monsters"was rated pg14 and needed  password to play but CSI episode was only rated "8+"! I understand that there might be some scary moments in"River monsters" but the adult content in CSI show with bodies being dissected (to a child that would seem real and not just a show) is very disturbing to a child. So I don't rely on rating only. I supervise TV watching! I am the one who picks shows for homeschool (often watching them alone before I allow for kids to watch them). I do tape some kids shows for them that they are welcome to watch. These are kids shows I approve of and that I think have some value to them beyond just being for kids. I really like the Kratt brothers shows like Wild Kratts, or zaboomafoo, or show like Dinosaur Train on PBS, or The Octonauts on Disney Junior because they teach about animals. My kids also like The Magic Schoolbus show since it makes science fun and Imagination Movers for teaching about music and problem solving. Since shows are a treat in our house they are never allowed before schoolwork is done, or before Monkeys finish their chores.

   We own 2 televisions, one is downstairs in the family room and does not have cable but does have DVD player for family movies and adults can access You Tube on it (we use it for our geography lessons to watch tourism videos about countries we are studying). The television upstairs is in our bedroom only and that one had satellite connection. We supervise what the kids watch and most often watch it with them. Funky Monkey is allowed to watch shows for older viewers, like Monster Fish, or Dinosaur documentaries that might be scary to younger kids, but he watches them by himself and we always discuss what he has learned from it. We never allow for our kids to watch  what I coined "junk TV". There is not enough words in the world to convince me of any benefit to kids watching Sponge Bob, or music videos, or adult shows. Some of the adult shows like Jersey Shore and Big Brother should really not even be watched by adults and I call them "garbage entertainment". But every adult has their own brain and can decide whether that is for them. Daddy and I do enjoy some adult programming, shows like Amazing Race, Everybody Loves Raymond, Fraser, Big Bang Theory, and I like adult documentaries too, but we never watch any of these with kids. It really pains me to hear about children or preteens who watch adult programming or adult rated movies because years of working with kids (before I even had my own Monkeys) have taught me that their little brains are not ready for adult content. I want to make sure that my kids are mature enough before they watch something that they can never un-watch.
   Another screen time is gaming systems. I did cave few years back and we bought Wii for kids. I refused any other system in our house because I wanted the kids to be active while playing games. I always believed that kids should get more than finger exercise from playing games. So we do allow for Wii games (age appropriate) but the rule we have is that it's only allowed on rainy days when we can't play outside.
   So what about internet. I see so many kids under 10 that have their own Facebook pages or Twitter accounts and I cringe. Why do kids that age need these things, or email address, or YouTube accounts is beyond comprehension. We discussed this with Daddy and decided that our kids should have no need for Social media accounts before they are well into their teens. We have a family Facebook account that they can use under our supervision to contact family and friends, beyond that if you want to contact someone talk to them. That's what face to face time is for. Internet is also supervised in our house. We have one computer in family room, and I will not allow them to have computers in their bedrooms, ever, OK, maybve when they have jobs to pay for their own computer and internet and room and board.  Internet has many benefits but there are also many dangers that come along with it. As parents, I feel it is our job to protect our Monkeys from those dangers without hindering their need for knowledge seeking.
   What about iPads and iPhones? Both Daddy and I have an iPhone and kids do play games on them occasionally. The rule is that they only use what we tell them to use or they are not allowed to use it at all. We allow Monkeys to use handheld devices when we are waiting in a restaurant or when we need them to stay still (like in a waiting room). Grandparents also have an iPad, so they are allowed to play with it at Grandma's and Gramps' house as long as they take turns. They are never allowed to use the devices while eating, or visiting with Friends and relatives (unless we need them to sit quietly at a restaurant because adults would like to talk). I don't think that my kids will own any cellphones or tablets any time soon. And even when they do in the future they will be for keeping in touch with us in case of emergency.
   So overall we like to use technology to our advantage. Screen time is no source of evil, but it can get out of hand if not properly supervised by adults. So one should not blame technology for all the problems in the world but rather how we allow for it to be used by our kids. Even the best of tools can be misused, and screen time is no different.