M is for Midwife!

WARNING: This post contains graphic descriptions of birth and medical procedures!

Home visit from a midwife a day after delivering
Little Monkey

   Yesterday we had a Midwife appointment. Everything looked good with Monkey In-Waiting. His heartbeat was 140 beats per minute, my belly measured at 30 weeks, my weight hasn't gone up any in 9 weeks (since I started a little heavier the recommendation was for me to try to only gain 10 to 15 pounds, and I am at 10). We talked about my Gestational Diabetes, coping, labor, birth plans, kids .... Have I mention how much I love having a midwife, or should I say midwives. Well, I do love having them!
   When I was pregnant with Funky Monkey I had a general practitioner take care of me during pregnancy and deliver Funky Monkey. Let's just say that this experience had me wanting a bit more. It really bugged me that she was always focusing on my weight gain and not my health. At every visit I heard how miserable I am going to be weighing that much ( I gained 40 lbs by the end of the pregnancy). The truth was that I was eating the same as before and exercising, it's just that my body needed to gain that much. In the next pregnancies I always end up at the same number on my scale by the end of pregnancy so I am convinced that my body just needs to get to that number whether I start lower or higher. But all she could see was my number on the scale. And that did nothing for my self esteem.
She never asked how I was coping with being pregnant, or for the first time in my life being home and not working, or moving to a new place. She was only really focused on me being a baby oven.

Feeling loopy, after giving birth to Funky Monkey.

   I delivered Funky Monkey in hospital and that was not a very great experience. I arrived to a hospital being only 2 cm dilated. This being my first pregnancy, I didn't know any different and the contractions felt really painful to me. Plus I was scared of not getting to the hospital in time. So they admitted me and send me to a room. My doctor came in after about 5 hours since she was delivering another baby. She informed me that she will check how far along I was but that unless I was 4 cm or more dilated I was not really in labor! That was my doctor's way of encouraging me! She then checked me and informed me that I was 3 cm and that there is no way that these are painful. I was really glad when she left. I was young back then and felt like I couldn't stand up for myself. I would have never allowed for someone to be so disrespectful to me now, but I have grown a lot since then.

Moments after giving birth to Girly Monkey.

   Before the doctor left she suggested I have an epidural to speed up labor. I didn't want it and refused since I wanted no interventions. I refused the next four times after that but the nurses were very insistent on me getting one to speed things along. I finally caved, not because I needed help with pain but because I thought they were looking out for my best interest. Nobody informed me though that epidurals can slow down labor and cause more interventions to be needed.  And that's what happened to me. My labor slowed down and my blood pressure dropped. I was then given pitocin to speed thing up again and I was asked to lay on my side to stabilize my blood pressure. Since I had an epidural I had to have a catheter put in because I could not go to the bathroom. After 32 hours in labor I was ready to push. The epidural drip was turned off and since I still didn't feel when my contractions were happening I had to be told when to push. That was not very efficient since I didn't work with my body but against it. Two and a half hours of pushing and Funky Monkey was not out yet. The doctor suggested that I needed to have help with a vacuum. Since only the very top of Funky Monkey was visible putting the vacuum onto his head was not easy. After preforming a large episiodomy she begun trying to put the vacuum onto his head. The doctor kept on pinching and scratching my very sore nether regions. It was the most painful thing I have ever gone through (even more than next three births combined!). After 15 minutes of torture she begun to pull my baby out ... by pulling on the vacuum attached to Funky Monkey's head. She braced herself with her foot against the end of the bed and pulled. It took another 5 contractions to get him out and then he was out. Her "lovely bedside manners" didn't get better after delivery. During stitching up my episiodomy she mentioned that she will make it "a bit tighter for my husband". Did I mention that she sewed me up so tight that I was in pain for a long time afterwards?

Midwife helping Girly Monkey expel fluid
from her mouth

   After all of this I needed something better during my next pregnancy. When Funky Monkey was 15 months we got pregnant again. This time I decided to try a midwife as per other mom's recommendations. The first visit had me sold. The lovely midwife spent 45 minutes with us asking many questions and getting to know us. Every visit after that was always spent on finding out how we were coping with new baby on the way, with lots of information, and just warm conversation. For once I didn't feel like I was a walking uterus. She treated me as a whole person with feelings, concerns, and fears. When at our 18 week ultrasound we found out that the baby has died she was right there talking on the phone with us. She was the one who arranged for the best obstetrician to see us, and eventually to get D&C. She came to visit me in the hospital and phoned every other day for a week. She also  checked in on us when the pathology tests came back and we found out that it was a Partial Molar pregnancy. I have never got that kind of care from any medical personnel. Although we were going through a tough time I vowed that as soon as we could get pregnant again (we had to wait for at least 6 months after) I was going to get a midwife as my pregnancy care provider.

Just 3 hours after having Girly Monkey.

   When in January 2007 we got pregnant with Girly Monkey the first phone-call I made was to a midwife's office. By then we lived in a different city but I managed to find a midwife's office and was happy when they took me on as their patient. They cared for me throughout my pregnancy with loving care and treated me so well as their client. I had access to all the tests, everything was explained to me, and I was given a choice of home birth or hospital birth. The midwife explained that I was in charge and it was all up to me. And that was the case throughout my pregnancy. When I finally went into labor I was in the driver seat and the midwives were my support system. I ended up having a beautiful, 8 hour labor and delivery at home with the support of 3 amazing ladies, my husband, and our family. I needed no interventions except for a little stitching where I have tore on the old episiotomy site.

Little Monkey's water birth.

   The midwives are very skilled in handling any complications that might arise. When I had Little Monkey he was born in only 4 hours, from start to finish. Because Little Monkey came so fast he wasn't positioned properly in the birth canal and got stuck, something that is called shoulder dystocia. It's usually a medical emergency as the baby can have oxygen supply cut off and brain damage can occur. The baby must be delivered very quickly as to minimize the possibility of injury. My midwife was able to handle this emergency situation in a very skilled matter and throughout the whole incident she stayed calm and collected. She asked Daddy to help bend my legs back and skillfully maneuvered Little Monkey out in just one push!I felt safer in her hands than in the hands of intervention-happy doctor. I have experienced both and I would never go back to regular doctor. I am planning to deliver Monkey In-Waiting at home for the third time, surrounded by my family and some amazing ladies that I am lucky to call my midwife team!